Oh, How Spiffing! Presents Ian Fleming's James Bond 007 in Shawn's Bond Films Ranked!!

Well, here we are, ladies and gentlemen!!! In honor of the 50th anniversary of James Bond, I have provided an official personal ranking of every official James Bond film including his latest outing Skyfall!!! James Bond has proven over the course of the past half-century that he is one of cinema's greatest treasures and one of the greatest joys I've had in all my life is being able to participate in such glorious movie going experiences - Even when the films have been anything but glorious. I hope you enjoy reading as much as I enjoyed compiling it! So, without further delay, let's get this started!

23. DIE ANOTHER DAY

If outlandish stunts chock full of CGI and oodles and oodles of stupidity are exactly what you crave in your moviegoing experiences, then Die Another Day will probably seem like the best 007 outing ever. For the rest of us, however, it's a headache inducing mess that single-handedly destroys the Bond franchise by indulging far too much in the series' excesses. Halle Berry's arrogantly annoying performance as Jynx is so grating and painful to watch that you'll weep for the fate of humanity. It's even more disappointing when one considers how promising the opening is with a sequence that involves Bond being captured and tortured - a first for the film series. Though it may not be as tired as some of the worst Roger Moore entries, Die Another Day is the only Bond film that, without fail, makes me hate 007 with a passion. Pierce Brosnan deserved a better finale than this.

22. A VIEW TO A KILL

Poor Roger Moore. Even in his final outing, he still retains the charm that made his portrayals of Bond so damn enjoyable even when the movies built around him weren't. With A View to a Kill though, it's more than glaringly apparent that at the ripe age of 57 it was time for Moore to hang up the tuxedo. Everything about this entry is tired - The plot, the villain, the action. The only thing about the film that shows any signs of life is the fantastic theme song by Duran Duran. Christopher Walken is here, but never given much to do; the immensely unattractive Grace Jones beds Roger Moore, confirming once and for all that neither should ever be seen without clothes on ever again. Easily Moore's worst film.

21. DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER

The first truly horrible Bond film is not without its  moments. The opening is an inspired plethora of nonsensical sequences that are nothing short of hysterical. (This includes a moment in which Bond strangles a woman with her own bikini top) The film's final scene in which two henchmen give one last attempt to kill Bond is comic genius. There's also a nice fight scene between Bond and a henchman in an elevator as well as a decent car chase through Vegas. Overall, though, Diamonds are Forever is intelligence insulting drivel and not even Sean Connery seems to be enjoying himself.

20. MOONRAKER

Moonraker actually isn't nearly as outlandish as I recalled. Sure, the laser battle in outer space at the film's climax is sheer madness, but the first half of the movie is relatively low key. Still, it ranks low on this list for two reasons:

1. It reduces Jaws, one of the greatest Bond villains of this whole franchise, to a shallow cartoon character;

2. It's just so damn boring.

You'd expect a movie with lasers to be infinitely more exciting, but Moonraker goes out of its way to disprove this theory with every predictable, uninspired moment.

19. LIVE AND LET DIE

In his debut as agent 007, Roger Moore is suave and charming. If only the same could be said for the rest of the picture. With the exception of a gorgeous Bond babe (A young Jane Seymour), a cool stunt with some alligators, and one of the best main villain demises of any film ever, Live and Let Die is incomprehensibly stupid, boring, and even slightly racist. But, hey, it has the best theme song of all the Bond films, so I suppose that counts for something!
                                     
18. OCTOPUSSY

Yes, this is the one where James Bond disguises himself as a clown. (And with this gesture, I don't think it's too much of a stretch to note that the series was very clearly accepting itself as a joke) Maud Adams (The only actress to portray a Bond girl in two separate films) is unmemorable as the title character and the theme song 'All Time High' may be the series' worst. But, overall, Octopussy really isn't terribly dreadful. It has a great opening and a stunt-acular train action sequence. In his penultimate outing as Bond, Moore is clearly too old for the role, but that wouldn't stop him from coming back to the fold for a miserable final hurrah.

17. THE MAN WITH THE GOLDEN GUN

Out of all the Bond films, this may be one of the most disappointing. The concept of James Bond facing the world's 'greatest assassin' is full of promise and could have been enormously exciting and entertaining. Add Christopher Lee to the mix in this villainous role and there's no way it could go wrong!...Right? Unfortunately, The Man with the Golden Gun squanders the potential of its concept by choosing to follow in the footsteps of the awful Live and Let Die. It throws ridiculous scenarios and lackluster action together with bizarre features - Scaramanga has a third nipple; his servant is a midget named Knick-Knack; a Karate School??? J.W. Pepper returns???? (Whoever thought this was a good idea should hang their head in utter shame) There's a really wonderful dinner scene between Bond and Scaramanga that hints at what could have been, but, otherwise, the film is a crushing disappointment.

16. LICENCE TO KILL

Licence to Kill is another great concept undone by uninspired execution. After all, who doesn't want to see a film in which Bond's infamous licence to kill is revoked due to his unquenchable desire to avenge a close friend? Sadly, the film never quite lives up to its potential. It's boring with a capital yawn. It contains not a single distinguishing feature with which one could identify it as a Bond film and doesn't even manage to succeed as a quality action feature. It's also uncharacteristically violent (Another attempt no doubt to try and keep up with phenomenal action films such as Die Hard and Lethal Weapon) which only contributes to its immensely uncharming nature. Like A View to a Kill, Bond was again struggling to find relevance in the action movie world. Unlike Roger Moore, however, Timothy Dalton was only two movies into the Bond legacy before the series was in dire need of another revamping.

15. QUANTUM OF SOLACE

Quantum of Solace falls into the same category as Licence to Kill - a mediocre, identityless action movie that has very little going for it and practically nothing to distinguish it as a James Bond flick. What makes Quantum of Solace even more disappointing is the fact that it failed to deliver on the promise of the brilliant beyond all reason Casino Royale. It's currently the only Bond film that functions as a direct sequel to a preceding story and, while that sounds like an intriguing idea on paper, Quantum serves as nothing more than an extended epilogue to a vastly superior film that needed no such thing. It certainly doesn't help that Marc Forster shoots every action sequence in shaky-cam close up and the atrocious editing makes it all nearly entirely incomprehensible. Still, Daniel Craig and Judi Dench are so great despite having so little to work with that it keeps the movie from being completely disposable.

14. THE WORLD IS NOT ENOUGH

You know what? I don't mind this one. Sure, its plot is a mess and runs in every which way and sure the villain isn't particularly great and sure Denise Richards' performance is about as dense as her breasts, but it's not without its small pleasures. First and foremost is Robbie Coltrane reprising his role as Valentin Zukovsky. I love this character so much and I'm glad he got another moment to shine even if his inclusion in the plot feels rather forced. I also like the storyline involving Bond's love affair with the lovely Elektra King. I never quite bought the relationship between the two of them, but there's an interesting glimpse into Bond's humanity when he's forced to kill this a woman he had cared for so much. It also features Desmond Llewelyn's final performance as Q, which is fitfully touching. There are a couple great action sequences such as the opening boat chase that keep this movie from being completely disposable, but the overall package feels superficial and drags on for far too long.

13. THUNDERBALL

For a long time, I considered Thunderball to be one of the best of the Bond films. It has an iconic opening featuring a strategically (If not awkwardly convenient) placed jet pack and has a few great sequences. However, upon rewatching it more recently, I discovered a reaction that I didn't recall having in my earlier screenings of the film: boredom. Thunderball takes everything that made Goldfinger so great and tries to crank it up to even bigger heights. The whole thing buckles under the weight and it ends up moving slower than its numerous underwater sequences. While I'd still put this in the category of good Bond films, it's rather boring and that's a characteristic that shouldn't be anywhere near a description of a Bond film.

12. FOR YOUR EYES ONLY

After the outlandish Moonraker, For Your Eyes Only brings things back to earth with a much more grounded back-to-basics approach. This is standard procedure for the Bond series - When the formula is stretched to its limits (And sometimes its breaking point - See Die Another Day), the best option is to return to the essential core of what makes the character so great in the first place. With that in mind, For Your Eyes Only is exactly what the series needed after Moonraker and it doesn't hurt that it's a lot of fun too. If there's one issue with For Your Eyes Only, it's that it's almost too grounded. With the exception of one or two great action sequences, there's not much that stands out about it. Still, it's nice that Moore got one other really good Bond film under his belt before descending into complete and utter lameness.

11. ON HER MAJESTY'S SECRET SERVICE

There was a time when, in a conversation regarding everyone's favorite secret agent, someone would bring up On Her Majesty's Secret Service and the other parties in the conversation would wince and dismiss it as 'the odd ball out.' It was relatively ignored when it came to those infamous 'Best of Bond' lists and not a single person would even dream of calling it a favorite. Then suddenly people started taking notice of its daring plot involving a more emotional Bond. Throw in a seal of approval from esteemed director Christopher Nolan and all of sudden On Her Majesty's Secret Service is a misunderstood masterpiece and one of the best Bond films EVER!! What the film is in all actuality though is an intriguing albeit slightly mundane entry that is neither the complete disaster it was considered to be back in the good ol' days of Connery dominance, nor the utter masterpiece that so many have labeled it in this day and age. It received a lot of praise for 'daring' to expose the thoughtful, emotional side of James Bond, but, when it comes down to it, OHMSS (That's On Her Majesty's Secret Service in case you're wondering...though I suppose by typing it out I've just negated the purpose of the abbreviation in the first place. Dammit) isn't actually all that thoughtful nor emotional. With the exception of a rather spectacular tragic ending featuring the death of the 'only woman Bond ever truly loved,' it doesn't do much to examine the psychology of Bond, so I'm not exactly sure why people sing its praises as being 'deeper' and 'braver' than the rest. In addition, OHMSS is not helped by an overwhelmingly underwhelming performance by George Lazenby who is painfully awkward and quite incapable of filling Bond's shoes in a satisfactory manner. Still, it's nice to see this early attempt at the series trying to do something new and this keeps the film from being completely dismissible, but it's no surprise that the producers would return to a more generic formula in addition to the return of Connery with the film that followed.

10. THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS

After the dreadful A View to a Kill, Bond was in desperate need of a revival. Enter Timothy Dalton and The Living Daylights, a premature 'reboot' in a way that makes Bond more exciting than he had been in years without quite reaching the heights it so desperately strives for. Even though OHMSS gets more of the credit for attempting to craft a more emotionally resonant Bond, The Living Daylights is actually more successful at giving the character a bit more depth. This is in no small part due to Mr. Dalton himself who was highly intrigued by the prospect of returning to the source material in order to dictate which direction the character should go. But, The Living Daylights is caught in a state of limbo. It's not nearly as serious as some have claimed. In fact, some sequences are so goofy they'd be right at home in one of the worst Roger Moore entries. And, despite being an obvious step in the right direction, The Living Daylights feels prematurely tired. The series was flailing desperately to be significant in addition to finding a new path for its character. An unmistakable air of uncertainty hangs over the proceedings, which keeps the film from being truly great. Still, there's a wonderful chase scene involving a cello case and a frozen lake (That's right, Die Another Day. Someone else did the car chase on ice first! And WITHOUT CGI) and a spectacular airplane stunt at the film's climax. (Clearly an inspiration for the fantastic video game Uncharted 3) The Living Daylights is enjoyable in spite of the fact that it's not quite sure what to do with itself.

9. YOU ONLY LIVE TWICE

You Only Live Twice is perhaps the first Bond film to embrace epic spectacle wholeheartedly. Despite Connery's growing disinterest in the role (Which begins to rear its ugly head in this entry), he leaps into the action in a way that makes the proceedings infinitely more exciting than in the slow paced Thunderball. This is also the point where the series began to descend into pure absurdity. It has the huge, evil volcano layer, spectacular action sequences, a maniacal villain with a distinguishing facial feature, and so much more!! In an even more outlandish sequence, Bond is transformed into a Japanese man so he can go undercover, but he comes out on the other end looking more Spock than Asian. The excesses on display here would later be the series' undoing, but this early in the game they come across as charming and entertaining.

8. TOMORROW NEVER DIES

Tomorrow Never Dies serves as one of the two only good Pierce Brosnan entries. After the breath of fresh air that was GoldenEye, Tomorrow opts to settle in for a more traditional Bond adventure and that's certainly not a bad thing. From its opening to its overblown, almost hilariously violent climax, it's a non-stop rush full of spectacular action and a great deal of charm. It also sports two, count 'em TWO spectacular chase sequences which are so inventive and fun that they deserve their own call outs. First is the 'Backseat Driver' sequence in which Bond operates his gadget-filled BMW from its backseat using a remote control. The sequence is pure Bond and the glee that fills Brosnan's face as he operates the vehicle and its many, many hidden perks is palpable. The 2nd chase is one that features Bond and his new best friend - Chinese agent Wai Lin - handcuffed together on a motorcycle, leaping from roof to roof as they are chased down by a helicopter. With the exception of these sequences and an inspired opening that serves as one of the series' best, the action is a mesh of uninspired shootouts. Jonathan Pryce is fun, but almost too ridiculous in his role as the villainous media mogul Elliot Carver. He revels in his ability to chew scenery, but it's a bit too self-aware which makes the performance a bit less charming. Overall, though, Tomorrow Never Dies is a highly entertaining entry in the Bond canon and a worthwhile follow up to GoldenEye.

**As a side note, this was my very first Bond film and, even though it's not the best the series has to offer, I stand by the opinion that it was one of the best possible introductions I could have had to the character.

7. DR. NO

And now we come to it at last - the one that started it all. What strikes me the most about Dr. No is that, at its core, it's essentially just a generic detective story. The principal villain Dr. No even has the gall to call out Mr. Bond as nothing more than a 'stupid policeman.' But, with inspired direction, a fantastic theme song, a gorgeous babe, and a masterful performance by Sean Connery, Dr. No was a spectacular debut and a big indication that the action genre would never be the same again. What's refreshing about watching this legendary first entry is that it's very straightforward and features none of the ridiculous gadgets and gimmicks that would become the series staples as well as their biggest undoing. With that in mind, Dr. No can't help but feel incredibly slow-paced when compared to the action in the other films of the series. But, in the end, this really doesn't matter. There are so many great moments here ("That's a Smith and Weston. And you've had your six.") and so many little hints at the even greater brilliance to come that it easily cements itself as one of Bond's very best adventures.

6. THE SPY WHO LOVED ME

After the just plain awfulness of Live and Let Die and the overall bad taste in the mouth feeling of The Man with the Golden Gun, the future of the Bond franchise was uncertain. The diminishing box office returns of the series indicated that it would need something grand to pull it out of its slump. The Spy Who Loved Me is just that and so much more. Finally, Roger Moore got the chance to strut his stuff in what is easily his best outing as 007. It's his first real Bond film featuring all the epicness that a Bond picture demands, something that was sorely missing from his first two entries. Throw in a great Bond girl (The beautiful, though actingly challenged Barbara Bach) and an EXCELLENT, iconic villain in the form of Richard Kiel's Jaws and you've got all of the elements for greatness. But, The Spy Who Loved Me strives for more than just mere greatness and in nearly every way it succeeds with flying colors. Ignore the dated score, the occasionally wince-inducing punchlines, and the sleepwalking performance of Barbara Bach to enjoy Moore's Bond at his very best.


5. FROM RUSSIA WITH LOVE
While Dr. No was little more than a generic detective story, From Russia with Love is pure espionage from start to finish. Its plot is so convoluted at times that it's hard to keep track of who's who and what the hell is going on. Despite this, Russia is sheer brilliance in every which way. There is so much to love about this film. First and foremost you have a stunning knockout of a Bond girl in Tatiana Romanova who has a much bigger, more integral role than Honey Ryder had in Dr. No; you have the iconic Rosa Klebb, who is as sinister as she is just plain creepy; you've got Bond's first official gadget - A briefcase with all kinds of hidden goodies. (Presented to Bond by Q in his first series appearance) More than anything else in this movie, though, I absolutely adore Red Grant. Robert Shaw is a magnificent actor and his performance as Grant is nothing short of stunning. The train sequence involving him and Bond is so utterly brilliant and for as long as I live I can never say enough good things about it. The action sequence that follows their nail-bitingly suspenseful conversation is so intense and brutal that I'm amazed it's even in the film. It holds up incredibly well, even by today's standards, which is kind of funny considering the lackluster quality of the fight sequences in subsequent Bond flicks. Many consider this to be the best film of the series and I have no cause to argue with that; it's simply splendid.

4. GOLDENEYE

After the uncertainty of the Dalton era, Bond faced a six year absence from the silver screen - his longest since the series' beginning in 1962. With the Cold War a thing of the past, Bond's relevance was more questionable than ever. The only irrefutable certainty was this: Bond needed a comeback in a big way. Thank the maker for GoldenEye, an essential entry in the canon that not only brings Bond back with ferocious style, but sees the Bond formula perfected in a way that hadn't happened since 1977's The Spy Who Loved Me. Perhaps no scene is more representative of GoldenEye's nature than the moment Bond comes crashing through a brick wall in a tank - Marking the return of the cinema's greatest action hero as well as the beginning of one of the best chase scenes in any film. Pierce Brosnan perfectly embodies the role of 007, channeling elements of all the Bond's before him to create a spectacular amalgamation of everything that makes the character so wonderful. Famke Janssen is wonderful as Xenia Onatopp - the best Bond side-villain since Jaws. Izabella Scorupco gives a really lovely performance as well that seems to be overlooked in the midst of all the madness. She's the heart of the movie and she brings out Bond's emotions in a way that had been attempted unsuccessfully in the Dalton films. GoldenEye is certainly starting to show signs of age, but very few Bond movies pack such a visceral punch and it undoubtedly ranks as one of the best in the series.

3. SKYFALL

Okay, okay, I'll admit it - It may be a bit premature to put Skyfall so high on this list. After all, the film was only just released today and I've only just seen it. It really hasn't had the necessary time to sink in in order to find its rightful place on this list. But, let me be quite frank with you when I say that, as far as I'm concerned, this latest entry in the Bond canon has nowhere to go but up in these rankings. What I am completely certain of is this: Skyfall is an absolute masterpiece that surprisingly serves as yet another series reboot in a way. It reinvigorates the franchise with bold choices and stunning set pieces, setting the stage for all future entries to follow. I'd already proclaimed Daniel Craig as the best Bond after witnessing his glorious performance in Casino Royale, but his performance in Skyfall takes the cake. There can no longer be any doubt or question about Craig's portrayal. He IS James Bond. 'Nuff said. Judi Dench finally gets her time to shine as well and it is more than worth the wait. Additionally, Javier Bardem's Silva is already one of the series' most sinister villains and easily one of the best. This is also the most visually stunning entry the series has to offer, which comes as no surprise to anyone who is familiar with Cinematographer Roger Deakins work. He really is the best cinematographer working in this day and age and this is some of his best work yet. Yes, the visuals are undoubtedly gorgeous, but the story and character choices are, to put it mildly, beautiful. I have never felt so moved by a Bond flick. It goes above and beyond to excite, compel, and stir emotions in a way the series has never attempted. Sam Mendes, the producers, the writers, the cast, and the crew should all be commended for this masterwork.

Truth be told, I wanted to put this entry even higher on the list, but at the moment it's a tough call.  It could very well make it to the top some day, but only time will tell. (Discipline, 007. Discipline) Despite my uncertainty in regards to where exactly it ranks in the highest of high numbers on my own personal list, one thing is beyond certain: This film truly is a thing of beauty (And who would ever have guessed that 'beautiful' would be the best adjective to describe a Bond flick?) At the ripe age of 50, Bond has never been so lively. Nobody does it better indeed.

2. GOLDFINGER

Goldfinger is the quintessential Bond film. Practically anyone will tell you that. After two great entries, Bond's third adventure cemented him as a cinematic force to be reckoned with. It established the Bond formula - A formula that worked so well, it would keep the series alive for 50 years. (And, as evidenced by the previous entry, is still going strong, albeit with a few essential tweaks) What's not to love about that classic Aston Martin?? The spectacular henchman Oddjob? The character of Goldfinger himself?? ("Do you expect me to talk?" "No, Mr. Bond, I expect you to die!") The amount of praise showered upon Goldfinger by Bond fans and critics alike overshadow the fact that its second half is a little generic and strays a bit too far into comically outlandish set pieces, (Pussy Galore's Flying Circus, anyone?) but there can be no denying that Goldfinger is Bond firing on all cylinders to deliver a transcendent moviegoing experience. It established Bond as the character we know and love today and that alone earns its place near the top of every 'Best of Bond' list.

1. CASINO ROYALE

So here we are. It's been a long trudge, but we've finally made it through to my number one favorite Bond flick of all time.

If Die Another Day's mission was to bury the Bond franchise, Casino Royale's was to bring it kicking and screaming back to life. With Die Another Day, Bond had trudged into territory so ridiculous that even his producers had to stop to reconsider what they were doing with their iconic character. Their solution was to start afresh and adapt the very first Ian Fleming Bond novel, bringing the character back to its roots in a way the franchise had never attempted. The result was sheer perfection. A perfect plethora of action sequences, humor, and raw emotion the likes of which had never been seen in a Bond film. It's gritty, it's intense, but perhaps most of all, it's fun. Casino Royale may take steps in a more serious direction, but it is unmistakably a Bond film. It's laughable to think back to a time when people were saying that Daniel Craig would ruin the whole franchise, but that was exactly the case when the news of his casting had been announced. "He's blonde!" "He doesn't look anything like Bond!!" "I hate things!!" Oh, how wrong those silly children were. In Casino Royale, Craig delivered the best Bond performance the franchise has ever seen. Bond is not only badass, but he's vulnerable and that essential human element elevates this Bond above all others. Eva Green may also win the prize for the best Bond girl yet with her portrayal of Vesper Lynn. The way the two of these performers make you care for these characters is nothing short of astonishing. One of the best scenes in any film involves Bond comforting Vesper after a particularly brutal fight that threatened both their lives. It's a deeply moving moment in a film series that, up to this point, had been nearly entirely absent of anything remotely resembling genuine human emotion. Casino Royale reinvigorated the franchise with the greatest of gusto. It's absolute perfection in every way and earns its place on this list as the number one Bond film of all time!


And there you have it!! Every Bond film ranked and reviewed!! Agree? Disagree?? Let's hear all about it!!!! Thanks for reading!! I love you all, Marta!