Sausage Party - Film Review

Sausage Party’s vulgar nature is clearly designed to offend those with a more conservative mentality, but the most offensive thing about the film is that it’s not particularly funny. It’s a mediocre comedic exercise. Its sense of humor calls to mind a 5th grader who’s just discovered curse words and wants to see how far he can push the grown-ups around him before they snap.  If you’ve desired nothing more in life than to see cartoon sausages, buns, mustard cans, etc. saying the words ‘fuck’ and ‘shit’ over and over again, then Sausage Party will function as nothing less than a transcendent experience. The directors, Greg Tiernan and Conrad Vernon, and the writers Kyle Hunter, Ariel Shaffir, Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg, have set the film up to rely exclusively on the shock value of watching cartoons say dirty things and make ceaseless sexual innuendos. They neglected, however, to provide any actual jokes.

The film follows the exploits of a sausage named Frank who lives in a grocery store and, along with the other sausages in his package, desires nothing more than to be picked by the ‘gods’ (humans) and taken to the Great Beyond where eternal bliss awaits. He’s hopelessly in love with Brenda, a hot dog bun whose package sits right next to his. They’re both picked by a 'god' but a horrible accident results in their being separated from the group. As they journey to find their display stand, they uncover a terrible truth: the ‘gods’ are vicious, cruel beings that kill food instead of providing salvation. Frank takes it upon himself to warn the rest of the rest of the food in the market before it’s too late.

Sausage Party contains a few great one-liners and some inspired visual gags, but there are too few of them. For the most part, the film is deadly dull, the humor obvious and lazy. For example: at the end of a villainous speech, the antagonist asks the hero, “How do you like them apples?” Nearby, a batch of apples says, “Who – US??”

This, ladies and gentlemen, is as clever as Sausage Party gets.

All it has going for it is its raunch and it devotes its entire being to emphasizing it. The plot and characters play second fiddle. To the filmmakers, nothing seems to be funnier than foul language and visual innuendos. (The sausages want to get inside the buns. The buns look like vaginas. Get it??) It’s about as juvenile as can be. Screenwriters Rogen and Goldberg have, in their more successful efforts, elevated raunch to an artform (Superbad, This is the End). Here, their attempts fall painfully flat. The mediocre punchlines were met with long stretches of silence from the audience I saw the film with. Not even the talented voice cast, which includes the likes of Rogen, Kristen Wiig, Michael Cera, Salma Hayek, Jonah Hill and Edward Norton, can make the material work.

Running throughout the film is a subtext which condemns the notion of belief systems entirely. The film preaches that no one should follow a belief system and be free to do what they want, seemingly ignoring the irony that this notion in and of itself is a belief system. Instead of feeling fresh or thoughtful, it comes across as heavy-handed, obnoxious and half-baked. Sausage Party’s ‘moral-of-the-story’ ends up feeling just as explicit and annoying as the religions it condemns, fitting right in with the hit-you-over-the-head theology in one of those dreadful Christian products, i.e. God’s Not Dead.

To sum it up, Sausage Party is a rotten experience. It’s not smart enough to convey its message in a meaningful way and not nearly funny enough to justify its viewing experience. Its over-reliance on shock value (and schlock value) over worthwhile characters or an involving plot hold it back from greatness. It’s not even remotely close to greatness. In fact, it stands out as one of the worst films I’ve seen this year. How do you like THEM apples?

FINAL RATING: 1.5/5

Suicide Squad - Film Review

In the wake of Superman’s death, the world is vulnerable to attack. Who will defend us when the evil, superpowered monsters come calling? Intelligence operative Amanda Waller has the solution: assemble a task force comprised of ruthless murderers and psychopathic supervillains to protect the people of earth should the need arise.

…wait, what? You want to protect humanity from supervillains by assembling a team of…supervillains…? Does this make sense to anyone?

This is the central premise of Suicide Squad, the 3rd Horseman of the Apocalypse…er, I mean…the 3rd film of DC’s Cinematic Universe. With the latest entry in their canon, Warner Bros/DC further prove they’re hellbent on differentiating themselves from Marvel Studios in one distinct way: By producing films of the exact opposite quality.

The good news is that Suicide Squad is better than their last effort, the abysmal Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice. Warner Bros clearly took the harsh criticism of BvS’s suffocatingly dark and joyless tone to heart. Their biggest note to Suicide Squad’s writer/director David Ayer seems to have been, “MAKE IT FUN!” And yes, that note was probably written in all caps. The bad news is the film’s still not very good. It’s a loud, unruly disaster, haphazardly edited and written as if five or more screenplays were copied and pasted together at random. The stink of studio interference hangs over the entire product. (Reportedly they brought in the editors of the film’s popular trailer to recut the entire movie.) At the very least, the film has this manic energy which propels its scattershot plot forward with such enthusiasm you could almost call it entertaining.

Almost.

I'm not sure why Warner Bros saddled Ayer with this material, as he's given no opportunity to showcase his strengths as a writer or a director. Whatever talent Ayer displayed in his low-budget efforts (End of Watch, Fury) is buried beneath the requirements for a modern-day summer blockbuster. Any hope for meaning or purpose is drowned out by an explosion-filled, effects-laden climax, which pummels the audience into headache-inducing submission. In interviews, Ayer has insisted the final product is his own. If that’s the case, he might want to take a step back and rethink his life. Right from the get-go, he seems determined to baffle the audience with what is perhaps one of the most jumbled, ADD-riddled openings I have ever seen in a motion picture. We’re introduced to one or two characters before the film jumps into a completely unrelated scene, then jumps into a montage in which we’re introduced to the sprawling ensemble. This montage includes a RE-introduction of the same characters we’ve already met in the prior scene. I can only assume this was done out of a concern that the audience would be bored by coherent, straightforward storytelling.

All this madness plays out with wall-to-wall classic rock tunes, as if a WB studio exec saw Guardians of the Galaxy and declared, “That’s what we’ve been missing! POP SONGS!!” The song choices range from obvious (Rolling Stones’ ‘Sympathy for the Devil,’ The White Stripes’ ‘Seven Nation Army’) to baffling (‘Black Skinheads’ by Kanye West…?), and they're inserted at every possible opportunity. Oftentimes, the music will clash with the dialogue, which to be perfectly honest, isn’t worth hearing anyway. So I guess you could call that a positive?

The cast still manages to do a decent job, despite the material. Well, no, that’s not necessarily true. Really, it’s only a select few members of the cast who try to keep the thing afloat: Will Smith, Margot Robbie and Viola Davis. Smith's Deadshot serves as Suicide Squad’s emotional anchor. He’s burdened with a hackneyed “I just want to see my daughter” motivation that evokes more laughter than genuine emotion, but for the most part he manages to successfully convey the character’s struggle. Robbie, who I was expecting to hate, is surprisingly entertaining as Harley Quinn, the Joker’s ladyfriend. Her obnoxious, put-on New York accent and zany antics can get annoying, but hey, at least she’s trying. Viola Davis is Pissed the Eff Off. Her Amanda Waller is a force to be reckoned with. I can’t tell if Davis is just acting or if she’s really that unhappy to be involved in such a stupid movie. Either way, she’s great. And terrifying.

The remaining cast members are all over the place. Jai Courtney is unhinged and absurd as Captain Boomerang, whose power is, you guessed it, throwing around metal boomerangs. (Not sure how that’s supposed to help defend the people of Earth from superpowered threats, but, you know, whatever.) Jay Hernandez is unintentionally hilarious as the fire-blasting El Diablo, who just wants to go hide in the corner and be left alone when the monsters come a-calling. Joel Kinnaman is predictably bland as Rick Flag, the Suicide Squad’s leader, Adewale Aknnuoye-Agbaje as Killer Croc is saddled with the worst one-liners you could possibly imagine and Cara Delevingne is remarkably unthreatening as the film’s primary villain Enchantress.

And then, of course, there’s Jared Leto as the Joker. He’s…interesting, to say the least. His performance is neither frightening nor compelling. It’s unhinged, sure, but Leto comes across more as a hyperactive punk kid, acting out for attention than a genuine threat. Considering all the hoopla surrounding his controversial acting methods, you’d think his take might have amounted to more than 10 minutes of screen time. It’s perhaps the least interesting live-action portrayal of the Joker I’ve ever seen.

So, yes, if it isn't already clear, Suicide Squad is pretty bad. It's a messy, mean-spirited piece of work that seeks to insult and assault every one of your senses in exchange for your hard-earned $12.50. Its only saving grace over BvS is that it's got a semblance of a pulse. While I’ll admit watching Warner Bros rush out one miserable effort after another is a fascinating experience, there's something really, truly depressing about just how awful their movies continue to be. One thing's for certain: The DC Cinematic Universe is in dire need of a course correction, ASAP. Maybe it's time to just re-reboot the whole thing?

FINAL RATING: 1.5/5

Jason Bourne - Film Review

Jason Bourne is the 5th entry in the Bourne franchise, the 4th to star Matt Damon and the 3rd to be directed by Paul Greengrass. It's also the 1st one to bore me to tears. At one point in the film, a miscellaneous government agent states, “We’re still trying to come up with a narrative to explain what happened.” Yeah, that’s putting it lightly. I never saw the much-maligned The Bourne Legacy starring Jeremy Renner, but I can’t imagine it’s much worse.

It’s strange. All the familiar ingredients we’ve come to know and love are there: Damon, the shaky-cam, the hand-to-hand combat, the computer screen surveillance sequences. It just all feels so routine. So dull. There’s no spirit or excitement to be found. Everyone is just going through the motions. At this point in his career, Greengrass can make this kind of movie in his sleep and it appears that’s exactly what he’s done.

So, what’s at stake this time around? What could have possibly pulled Bourne from a near-decade long retirement? Oh, you know, just another evil government agency scheming behind the scenes. Same old, same old. Some modern buzz words like ‘social media’ and ‘Snowden’ are thrown around in a desperate attempt to make the film seem relevant, but somehow it only makes it feel more outdated.

*SPOILER ALERT*



There’s also a random subplot which suggests that Bourne’s father played an active role in Bourne’s being recruited as a spy in the first place. It is so bafflingly stupid, nonsensical and out of place that I wanted to stand up and scream, “Just wipe MY memory and be done with it already!”



*END SPOILERS*



New cast members Alicia Vikander and Tommy Lee Jones contribute nothing to spice up the proceedings. They blend right into the background with all the fluorescent screens and non-descript government workers. Unlike Joan Allen’s Pam Landry character in the latter two films of The Bourne Trilogy, none of the supporting characters seems to have any depth or motivation beyond “MUST FIND BOURNE AND TAKE OVER WORLD.” Vikander is poised to be the series’ Landry replacement, but her portrayal doesn’t hold a candle to Allen’s compelling turn.

Even the action scenes seem to carry the weight of a heavy, apathetic sigh. What was once a defining staple of the series has become boring and by-the-numbers. The fight scenes are lackluster and even the car chase at the film’s climax can’t inspire any genuine thrills, no matter how many vehicles are tossed into the air.

I thought the return of Matt Damon and Paul Greengrass would mark a return to form for the series. Sadly, they were probably better off staying away from the franchise altogether; they’ve done it no favors here.

Jason Bourne? More like Jason Bourde.

FINAL RATING: 2/5