Shawn Eastridge's Fantastically Spectacular Favorite Movies of 2014 Part 1: The Honorable Mentions and the Not-Sa-Goods

Greetings, fellow programs! Another year has come and gone and 2014 was full of some really spectacular flicks. As I attempted to make a list of my top ten favorites, I realized I was shoving so many great movies aside and decided to expand to fifteen. But even fifteen wasn't enough to recognize all the great movies I saw this year. So in a historic moment in Oh, How Spiffing's history, I've decided to expand my Favorite Movies of the Year list to TWENTY. Yes, folks, you read that right, TWENTY movies that delighted, excited, and ignited my soul and emotions like no other.

I'll be unveiling that list over the next few days, but for now let's start with the Honorable Mentions. These are films I enjoyed, but not quite enough to include them on my 'Best of' list.

Just a heads up, even though I managed to see nearly all the movies I wanted to see this year, there are still quite a few I missed. Those are as follows:

• American Sniper
• Begin Again
• Citzenfour
• Frank
• Inherent Vice
• The Interview
• Life Itself
• Love is Strange
• A Most Violent Year
• Neighbors
• Nightcrawler
• The Raid 2: Berandal
• Selma
• The Skeleton Twins
• Unbroken
• Under the Skin
• Whiplash
• Wild

As we move into the awards season, you can bet your sweet booty I'll be catching up on all the ones I missed and expect to see a revised list of my favorite films of the year closer to the 2015 Oscar ceremony.

Now, without further delay, let's get started!

HONORABLE MENTIONS, 2014!

BIG HERO 6

Not quite on par with the best animated films of 2014, but an enjoyable addition nonetheless. Big Hero 6 is fun and benefits greatly from the adorable Baymax. It also serves as further proof that the best animators and storytellers have jumped ship at PIXAR and moved to Disney’s primary animation studio.

THE FAULT IN OUR STARS 

Seeing as how I'm not quite the target audience for this one, I was pleasantly surprised to find The Fault in Our Stars a consistently funny and moving work. Shailene Woodley and Ansel Elgort are both fantastic.

GODZILLA 

Godzilla suffers from a lack of compelling story or characters, but when has that ever not been the case for this franchise? Director Gareth Edwards manages to pull through thanks to some stunning visuals and superior monster-mashing sequences.

THE HUNGER GAMES: MOCKINGJAY – PART 1

This one suffers from weak source material and the unnecessary splitting of said source material into two parts, which only further emphasizes the novel's shortcomings. Still, director Francis Lawrence manages to craft some great sequences and the cast is outstanding, as always.

THE MAZE RUNNER

Even though The Maze Runner was written before The Hunger Games, the film adaptation can't help but feel like a Hunger Games knockoff. Still, it's solid Young Adult fare and manages to be exciting despite its derivative nature.

MUPPETS MOST WANTED

I’m not sure why this was so ignored/panned by critics; in some ways it’s even better than 2011’s The Muppets. It feels more like a classic Muppet movie and it’s very, very funny.

WHAT IF

When Harry Met Sally-lite. What If is mostly forgettable, but still funny and charming. Daniel Radcliffe is the natural standout here as he continues to prove himself as one of our finest young actors.

So, that's that for the Honorable Mentions. Let's transition into something a little less fun (or more fun, depending on your point of view). Here are the worst movies I saw that were released in 2014.

THE WORST MOVIES OF 2014
(That I've seen, at least)

THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN 2

The Amazing Spider-Man 2 is the Batman Forever of the Spider-Man franchise. That’s both a good and bad thing, I suppose. Good because it means this trainwreck offers up consistent, unintentional laughs. Bad because, well, no one wants to be compared to Batman Forever. Now that they’ve crashed and burned the Spidey franchise, perhaps Sony can get a creative team that actually cares about the character. Or, you know, go ahead and surrender the franchise to Marvel Studios.

DUMB AND DUMBER TO

One of the most depressing filmgoing experiences I’ve ever had. No one involved in the making of this film seems to care at all about what they’re doing. Cynical, spiteful, and painfully unfunny, Dumb and Dumber To is without question one of the worst movies ever made and totally unworthy of its predecessor’s name.

GOD'S NOT DEAD

Insulting on almost every level, from filmmaking to spiritual. God’s Not Dead assumes that if you don't believe in God you must be a terrible human being. Its arguments for the existence of God are unconvincing and it contains a neverending supply of storytelling clichés. There are so many superfluous subplots and characters that have nothing to do with the main storyline and they are all painfully boring. On the plus side, you've got Kevin Sorbo acting like a James Bond villain and almost non-stop laughs. I've never been so close to converting to atheism.

THE HOBBIT: THE BATTLE OF FIVE ARMIES 

Can you find Bilbo in the picture above? I’ll give you a second. Did you find him? Where was he? Buried somewhere in the midst of characters we couldn’t care less about? That pretty much describes the entire Hobbit trilogy and The Battle of Five Armies is arguably the worst of the bunch. It proves once and for all that the decision to split Tolkien’s carefree adventure novel into three dull-beyond-all-reason films was made solely in the hopes of making more money. Its one advantage over its predecessors is that it’s so blatantly stupid and, therefore, the easiest to laugh at.

LEFT BEHIND 

I didn’t think it was possible, but this Vic Armstrong-helmed ‘remake’ is even worse than the Left Behind movie starring Kirk Cameron. Next to nothing happens in its entire two-hour (?!) runtime and, worst of all, Nicolas Cage seems to be barely awake through the whole thing. They don’t even let him have a trademark freakout in an attempt to save this travesty and that may be the worst sin of all.

WHEN THE GAME STANDS TALL

When the Game Stands Tall isn't quite sure what it's about, so it decides to try and be about multiple things and fails at all of them. The screenplay is riddled with all the same cliches you've seen in a dozen other sports films, but thanks to bland performances and direction, they're even more apparent here. So, so lame.

And that's that for Part 1: The Honorable Mentions and Not-Sa-Goods of 2014! Part 2 is on its way, so keep your eyes peeled. See you soon!

The Hobbit: The Battle of Five Hours

But they were all of them deceived, for another trilogy was made. In the lands of New Zealand, in the fires of Warner Bros./New Line Cinema, the Dark Lord Peter Jackson forged, in secret, a master cleanse. And into this trilogy he poured his cruelty, his malice, and his will to CGI all life - One Trilogy to Bore Them All.

It’s hard to believe it’s been eleven years since the release of the final chapter of Peter Jackson’s masterful adaptation of The Lord of the Rings. To this day, the midnight showing of The Return of the King stands as the single greatest movie-going experience I have ever had. Seriously, it was like a sporting event – people were cheering and applauding through practically the entire film. If someone had approached me immediately after that viewing and told me that eleven years later a Hobbit movie would be released and I wouldn’t care less about it, I would never have believed them. How could I? The Lord of the Rings Trilogy is a masterpiece! Peter Jackson is a genius!

My, how times have changed.

Way back in the day when news was announced that The Hobbit would be split into three films, I was confused, but optimistic. I trusted Jackson and, despite the fact that the source material didn’t seem to merit three films, I put my faith in his judgment. Then An Unexpected Journey was released and all hope was lost. The film was a dreadful bore. Its nearly three-hour running length, made up of repetitive, video game style action sequences and non-existent character development, was mind numbing and further emphasized what a poor decision it was to split this story into three 3-hour length films. Its only saving grace was poor Martin Freeman, who did his utmost to portray the title character with all the zest and charm Bilbo Baggins deserves, despite being shoved to the side to play second fiddle to characters and events that weren’t even in the book.

A year later The Desolation of Smaug arrived. It still contained all the same problems as its predecessor, but it benefited from Jackson seeming to remember that entertainment should be, you know, entertaining. There were a couple of action sequences that actually managed to thrill – that barrel chase sequence, for one - but it still wasn’t enough to save the entire film from dullness or that complete ‘Eff You!’ of an ending. At the very least it wasn’t an outright travesty. It was certainly better than its predecessor, but only marginally so.

Now we come to it at last – the great battle of our time. At least, that’s what Peter Jackson would like for you to believe. Seriously, whose decision was it to try and push The Battle of Five Armies as ‘The Defining Chapter of the Middle-Earth Saga?’ Last time I checked, the ‘Defining Chapter of the Middle-Earth Saga’ was The Lord of the Rings. The Hobbit was never intended as anything more than a simple adventure story and its cinematic interpretation would have benefited greatly if it had followed suit. Instead, against all better judgment and/or logic, Jackson and co. decided to expand and bloat the charming tale of Bilbo Baggins’ adventures beyond recognition into something vastly unpleasant. And somehow, The Battle of Five Armies manages to be the worst part of this bloated trilogy.

After an enjoyable opening sequence (which is actually the missing ending of the last movie), things go downhill in splendid fashion. There are a lot of dull preparations for the Big Battle. We’re treated to superfluous subplots involving Bard, the hero of Laketown, (Played with admirable nobility by Luke Evans) and Legolas’s dad Thranduil (Played like a sleepwalker by Lee Pace) trying to convince the Dwarves to share Erebor’s treasure. Thorin (Played like a pouty five-year-old by Richard Armitage) is being altogether unpleasant due to a nasty bout of ‘dragon sickness’ (?). He refuses to play nice and spends a good chunk of the movie acting like a brooding brat before having a baffling, drawn out acid trip that brings him back to his senses.

But before Thorin can make up for all his nasty behavior, the Elves arrive with a massive army, joined by the citizens of Laketown, and engage in battle with a Dwarven army. Then a massive Orc army shows up to ruin all the fun and the armies engage in what can only be described as one of the most impressive video game sequences of all time.

In the meantime, Gandalf is having the time of his life being held in a cage by the Necromancer, a.k.a. The Lord of the Rings himself, Sauron. In one of the early comedic sequences of the film, Gandalf is rescued by some of our friends from the original trilogy: Galadriel, who has a full-on creepy girl from The Ring freakout moment, Elrond, who gets to relive his glory days of martial arts mayhem from The Matrix, and Saruman, who further emphasizes that Christopher Lee can still kick ass, as long as he’s played by a CG stunt double.

And absolutely nothing is at stake. Nothing. At the end of the day, all anyone in this movie wants is gold and they will fight to the death for it. If a character doesn’t want gold, they get the immense pleasure of watching the madness unfold from the sidelines.

And as I’m sitting there in the movie theater, watching these CG armies clash into each other over and over again, all I can think about is how much I miss the Peter Jackson who made one of the greatest trilogies of all time, and how little I care about anything that’s happening or any of the characters because this time around he has given me exactly no reason to do so. There is so little of significance happening here and yet it goes on and on and on as if it’s the most meaningful thing ever committed to celluloid. It’s painful.

And then in the midst of all this is Bilbo Baggins, who was supposed to be the main character of this story. Martin Freeman brings every ounce of charm to the screen he can muster; he’s these films’ one saving grace. But, as is tradition for this trilogy, Bilbo is shoved aside to make room for never-ending CG battles and subplots/characters that were of little importance in the novel. The fact that the last 10 minutes, which focus exclusively on Bilbo, are the film’s best says a lot about how wrong this whole enterprise went. Of course, we have to make room for that romantic subplot involving Tauriel, Legolas, and hunky Dwarf Kili. Who cares about Bilbo Baggins when you can watch these three pine over each other forever and ever, amen? Seriously though, whose idea was this? This love triangle has been one of the most absurd additions to these films and here it reaches levels of hilariousness I couldn’t possibly have imagined:

“If this is love…please take it from me,” cries Tauriel. “Why does it hurt so much?”

“Because it’s real,” answers Thranduil in typical deadpan fashion.

Cue the laugh track.

Really, the only advantages this final Hobbit film has over the other two in the trilogy are these:

1. It has a shorter run time. (Yet somehow feels like the longest of the three)
2. It’s blatantly stupid on a level that neither of the other Hobbit movies were. This makes it much easier to laugh at and that alone deserves to be commended.

Other than that, it’s financially-focused filmmaking at its most depressing. With The Lord of the Rings, Peter Jackson aimed to please by going for our hearts and minds. With The Hobbit, his aim is just as true, only this time he’s shooting for our wallets. And, in that regard alone, he succeeds.

FINAL RATING: 2/5

The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 1 really emphasizes the Part 1 over anything else

Before we get started, let me level with you on my opinions regarding The Hunger Games series. That way, you’ll know where we stand right from the get-go and, hopefully, no one gets hurt. Sound good? Cool.

I really enjoyed the first Hunger Games book. I read it in less than twenty-four hours and then immediately headed to the local theater to see the movie version. It was a worthy adaptation and I thoroughly enjoyed it. Despite liking both the book and the movie, I wasn’t much interested in continuing the series. It just didn’t grab me in the same way that The Lord of the Rings or Harry Potter did, but at the very least it was leagues better than those god-awful Twilight books/movies.

Eventually I got around to reading Catching Fire, which left me feeling not very...caught...on fire. It wasn't much more than a rehash of the first book’s events and Suzanne Collins’s prose just isn’t compelling enough to distract from the lack of fresh ideas. I went out to see the film adaptation of the book last year and was pleasantly surprised. Not only was it a major improvement over its source material, but it was leagues better than its predecessor. For once, I was actually excited about the franchise and the direction it was taking, despite the frustrating news that the final book would be arbitrarily split into two films.

I knew the third book was the most divisive amongst the series’ fans, but I was still willing to give it a shot. I moderately enjoyed the first half of the book, finding it more interesting than Catching Fire mainly due to the fact that it wasn’t just a rehash of the first book. Sadly, Mockingjay’s climax and ending had to go and ruin everything. It’s the very definition of underwhelming and, without spoiling particulars, is deeply unsatisfying in regards to the outcome of its plot and characters. Nevertheless, I was so impressed with the work that director Francis Lawrence, aided by his spectacular cast and crew, did with Catching Fire that I held out hope the film adaptation would improve on the mediocre nature of its source material.

So, good news first: Mockingjay Part 1 is without a doubt a major improvement over the book. Part of this is due to the fact that we don’t have to deal with Collins’ mind-numbing first-person narrative style writing, which makes Katniss come across as nothing more than an empty shell of a girl who has no idea who she wants to date more – the hunky Gale or the thoughtful Peeta. Seriously, we’re in the midst of a massive rebellion and all this girl can think about is which boy she likes more? So much for strong female characters. Thankfully, the screenplay forgoes the love triangle nonsense of the book. It’s mentioned only in passing and put to rest as quickly as possible. There’s not much question as to who Katniss really loves, so we don’t have to put up with all of her BS moaning about it.

Mockingjay’s screenplay sorely misses the talents of screenwriters Simon Beaufoy (Slumdog Millionaire; 127 Hours) and Michael Arndt (Little Miss Sunshine; Toy Story 3), both of whom were far more than Catching Fire’s source material deserved. Series newcomers Peter Craig (The Town) and Danny Strong (Lee Daniels’ The Butler), do a decent job of adapting the novel, making due with what they have. If the proceedings feel a bit less charming and a bit more straightforward this time 'round, it’s mostly due to the novel’s content more than anything else.

Truth be told, the best moments of the film are moments that aren’t even heavily featured in the book – a rebellious attack on a large dam set to Jennifer Lawrence’s haunting performance of ‘The Hanging Tree;’ a thrilling covert rescue mission sequence, which was only mentioned in passing in the book.

Despite the solid quality of the screenplay, there were a couple of baffling ‘on-the-nose’ moments – in one instance a character in a video broadcast shouts, “They’re coming for you! You’ve got to get out of there!” Immediately after the video shuts off, a character responds with, “It’s a warning. They’re coming for us,” as if it’s news to anybody. Not sure why that wasn’t left on the cutting room floor.

At this point, it’s no surprise that the cast is the shining beacon of this franchise. They elevate the material to heights way beyond the quality of the source material. Jennifer Lawrence gives another spectacular performance, instilling Katniss with a level of humanity and depth that was barely present in the novels. It's a shame her character becomes so passive this time around (And sadly, if the movie stays true to the novel, she won't have much more to do in Part 2). Liam Hemsworth is given a bit more to work with as Gale this time around and Josh Hutcherson, though barely present for most of the film’s running time, makes a major impact.

The supporting cast here is one of the finest seen in any film, let alone a big budget franchise. Everyone delivers quality work – Donald Sutherland returns as the ruthless President Snow, Woody Harrelson continues the ongoing charmfest that is his performance as Haymitch and Philip Seymour Hoffman reminds us of how much we’ll miss his remarkable abilities as an actor. New cast addition Julianne Moore manages to fit right in with these talents, but sadly isn’t given much more to do beyond a one-note characterization.

The film’s biggest drawback, outside of the inherent weaknesses of its source material, is the inexplicable decision to stretch the proceedings out over the course of two films. Mockingjay barely holds enough material for a single film, let alone two. Obviously, the suits at Lionsgate looked at The Hobbit, Harry Potter, and Twilight and saw the benefits of making people pay twice to see a single movie (or in The Hobbit's case even three times), but it’s such a shame they went the quantity over quality route considering how strong the franchise has been up to this point. It doesn’t entirely ruin the film, but it really emphasizes the Part 1 nature of the whole thing. It feels incomplete and it undermines the quality. This could have been a really strong ending for the trilogy, but instead we’re being served a haphazard mishmash.

Will Part 2 justify the split? I doubt it. The book’s 2nd half and ultimate outcome are incredibly weak and despite this franchise’s track record I seriously doubt the filmmakers will be able to rise above its shortcomings. For the time being, Mockingjay Part 1 offers serviceable entertainment for the franchise’s fans, but is a definite step back for the series overall.

FINAL RATING: 3.5/5