The Dark Knight Rises and My Dreams Come Crashing Down

***BUYER BEWARE: SPOILERS AWAIT YOU IN THE DEPTHS OF THIS RANTING, RAVING REVIEW OF THE DARK KNIGHT RISES***

Back in 2005, as the release of Christopher Nolan's Batman Begins was looming on the horizon, no one would have guessed that it would mark the start of one of the most profitable and critically acclaimed trilogies of all time. At the time, I was completely indifferent towards the character of Batman. Despite their popularity, Tim Burton's Batman flicks never did much for me. They always felt a bit too kooky; a bit too fascinated with the outlandish environments more so than telling an actual story or building any interesting characters. And, of course, Joel Schumacher's Batman travesties' reputations precede them, so I won't bother addressing those here. (Though I will mention that my least favorite of that initial four-film run is actually Burton's Batman Returns, which is obnoxiously ridiculous and just plain mean-spirited) I went into the midnight screening of Batman Begins with an open mind and little to no expectations. What I saw completely floored me. Here was a great film, passionately made, that told a superb story which focused more on developing its characters than fashioning mindblowing sets and special effects. (Though those were rather impressive too) Performances all around the board were spectacular with the likes of Christian Bale, Michael Caine, Gary Oldman, Morgan Freeman, and Liam Neeson grounding the proceedings with their impeccable talents. For the first time, I felt like I'd finally seen a genu-ine Batman movie and I discovered an affection for the character that I'd never had before. I delved into the great Batman stories such as Batman: Year One and The Dark Knight Returns and realized that it wasn't that I didn't like the character of Batman, but that his previous cinematic iterations were so poorly rendered that my reaction to them could only be that of indifference. I was eternally indebted to Mr. Nolan for helping me rediscover my love for the Caped Crusader.

Four years later Christopher Nolan and company subverted and surpassed all expectations of what a superhero film could be with The Dark Knight - A massive, sprawling epic that deepened the mythology of its characters while presenting some fascinating themes regarding the nature of anarchy, justice, chaos, and their relationships with one another. At the center of this masterpiece was an iconic, unforgettable performance from Heath Ledger as the legendary Joker. Ledger as the Joker was hypnotic; you simply couldn't take your eyes off him. He was a force of nature - Funny at times and always terrifying. With The Dark Knight, Nolan had raised the bar so high that even he wasn't sure if it could be topped. His reluctance to come back for a third flick was understandable. I mean, had there ever been a good third superhero movie? (Short Answer: Hell, no) But, when the rumors started rolling in about a third Batman with Nolan behind the camera for one final go-round, the excitement of movie fans everywhere peaked. If anyone could break the third superhero movie curse it would be Nolan and, not only could he break it, he could devastate it and raise the bar to the point where all other superhero flicks and blockbusters in general would live in the shadow of the Bat forever and ever amen.

It is with the greatest of displeasure that I stand before you now (Actually, I'm sitting, but that's besides the point) to tell you that not only does The Dark Knight Rises fail to meet high expectations, but that, when all the dust from its less than rousing climax settles, it's sadly clear that it's just not a very good movie. At all. In fact, it's downright awful at times, and this is the last thing I ever wanted to have to say or admit about this film.

When watching any film, there is always a moment where I expect the story to win me over - either that or the characters or the action or the visuals - Whatever it may be,  something about the film needs to grab my attention to give me a reason to stick with it 'til the end. About an hour and a half into The Dark Knight Rises not only did I not have that connection, but I found myself sitting in shock witnessing some of the most painfully contrived sequences of any film I'd ever seen hand in hand with painful dialogue and unmotivated character choices that were completely contrary to the source material as well as the world that Nolan had so carefully established in his first two Bat-Flicks.

At the film's start, we are introduced to a Bruce Wayne who has been moping around in his rebuilt mansion for eight years. (Was it eight? Was it nine? Does it matter?) He hasn't been fighting crime; he hasn't been keeping up appearances as a billionaire playboy. He's just been sitting around like a bum crying about his old girlfriend's tragic murder at the hands of the Joker. We're only twenty minutes into the movie and already something feels off. The character of Bruce Wayne/Batman that had been established in Nolan's previous films as well as the comics would not be driven to solitude by the death of a loved one. He would not simply give up his battle for justice because he's depressed. If anything, this would motivate him further in his never-ending battle against crime to ensure that what happened to his parents and his one true love never happens to anyone else again. Already, the character has been damaged beyond repair with this completely unmotivated direction and it only gets worse from there.

As the film goes on, logical character motivations and story choices collapse one by one in favor of a script that seems to serve no logical purpose but to jump from situation to situation - from locale to locale - with nary a connecting thread and no plot driving the events nor believable character development. In a plot move reminiscent of the beginning of Return of the Jedi, (Where the first 40 mins or so are spent wrapping up plotlines from the previous entry without actually moving the story forward) Bruce Wayne spends a large chunk of the film's running time completely separated from the main events of the story, having absolutely no effect on them whatsoever. Batman appears for a total of maybe 40 minutes in the whole two-hour and forty-five minute running time. Characters like Alfred and Lucius Fox, built up so well in the previous two films, are tossed aside for entirely superfluous reasons that feel nothing but phony. Michael Caine gives it his all and has a few genuinely moving moments, but is mostly absent from the proceedings here, opting to leave Bruce Wayne to his own devices in one of the movie's worst scenes. (Whatever happened to 'You still haven't given up on me?' 'Never.') Morgan Freeman's Lucius Fox also gets demoted to third-tier supporting character status, doing so little that one wonders why Nolan even bothered bringing him back. Even Gary Oldman's fantastic turn as Commissioner Gordon in the first two films gets completely shat on for this third outing. He's out of commission (Pun intended, now that I think about it) for half the film and when he finally gets the chance to do something, it's not much of anything. Is there anybody out there who can possibly explain to me how this can be considered good storytelling?

New characters, such as Selina Kyle/Catwoman (Adequately portrayed by Anne Hathaway) and Miranda Tate (A mostly anonymous performance by Marion Cotillard) serve practically no purpose and have no lasting effect on the overall story. A romantic subplot involving Miranda Tate and Bruce Wayne is painfully underdeveloped and a supposedly 'shocking' reveal about her character near the film's end feels so blatantly forced that it only comes across as laughable. I nearly forgot to mention Joseph Gordon-Levitt as Detective John Blake, another character who serves little to no purpose to the story other than to set up another painfully trite reveal near the movie's end that, like most of the film's choices, feels incredibly stupid. He also does his best with what little Nolan has provided him. The only beacon of hope in this complete mess is Tom Hardy's Bane. His voice reminded me a bit of General Grievous from Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith, but Hardy makes it work and Bane is both threatening and slightly terrifying. A worthy foe for Batman. And, in line with the film's uncreative and disappointing nature, he meets a completely generic, bullshit demise completely unfitting for his character.

(As a side note, I'm not sure how he does it, but Nolan once again manages to fill the screen with some of the worst bit performances you will ever see in your entire life. Matthew Modine is the one that comes to the forefront of my mind, playing one of the most generic stereotypical cop characters you've already seen in a dozen action flicks)

I wish I could tell you that the action sequences make up for the illogical plot and lackluster character development, but even those are poorly executed, generic, and, perhaps worst of all for someone who has crafted three of the finest action films of all time, boring. It turns out that the 'epic' finale we were promised is nothing more than a series of uninspired fist fights and explosions. And, at the end of the day, what's Bane's grand scheme to destroy Gotham? A giant bomb. Yes, that's right. The genius, master director Christopher Nolan has resorted to a plotline that revolves around the most impersonal enemy a hero can ever face - Stopping a giant bomb from destroying a major city.

I hate everything.

Not a single action sequence carries a hint of inspiration. The only thing that comes close is a fight scene between Batman and Bane in the sewers beneath Gotham, but even that isn't quite as brutal as it should have been and you never quite feel Batman's struggle against the over-powering might of Bane. Nothing has any weight or consequence. Sure, Batman's back gets broken ala the classic Knightfall story from the comics, but, in what feels like a few weeks time, he's up and running again doing push-ups in the prison of standstill plotting. I'm not even sure if it was a few weeks, to be honest. The passage of time in this movie is so damn skewed that it's difficult to tell. Apparently by the time Batman returns to Gotham, five months have passed, but judging from the set decoration and the overall healthy state of the city's inhabitants, it might as well have been one or two days.

I take no delight in the disaster that is The Dark Knight Rises. I wanted it to be amazing and it had so much potential to be. It's stunning how horribly wrong every single facet of the film is. At the end of the day, the pointing finger of blame  can only be directed at one man and that is Christopher Nolan. Easily one of the best filmmakers of our generation, Nolan has never disappointed me before, but this is just plain lazy filmmaking. The script is dreadful and half-baked, which I never would have expected from such a master director. I'm not sure what horrible turn of fate caused Nolan to believe that this would be the best way to end such a well-made trilogy of films, but one thing is clear, this is not only the worst of Nolan's Bat-Movies; it is, without a doubt, Nolan's worst film to date.

I never thought the Dark Knight's rising would end up being so flaccid.

FINAL RATING: 2.5/5